Potty Training- my personal journey

There is a time in every mom's life where they dream of no diapers. A time when their children become self sufficient and use the potty. However, in this dream a mother tends to gloss over the potty training part of the story. Here is the reality. Potty training is a messy, labor intensive project that will alter the very fabric of your routines and lifestyle no matter who you are. 

My doctor told me at JD's 2 year appointment that there is one thing that you cannot force a child to do or learn and that thing is using the potty. When he is ready it will happen "easily" and "naturally". Force it and you will have a very unsuccessful standoff where your toddler will win but be cognisant of the signs and show excitement and encouragement. So we looked for the signs; hiding to poop, asking for a diaper change, wanting to help wipe ect. and with this in mind,  we purchased a toilet seat that has a toddler insert that stores in the lid and toddler potty seat, the bjorn because we heard from a variety of sources that this is "the best potty for training boys". We put it in the bathroom in the corner across from the big potty and suggested that JD use it on occasion, when he was about to take a bath or when he joined us in our own personal potty journeys. Then MJ came and suddenly JD wanted nothing to do with the potty.

Around the time MJ turned to months JD started to show interest in using the potty. Again, we would ask him if he wanted to use it when we changed his diaper or got ready to take a bath and sometimes he would say yes and sit, not producing even one drop, and sometimes he would say no.  We put him in big boy underwear and handed out m&m's for trying and though he "seemed" ready, there were puddles on the floor and lots of wet laundry. So we decided to let it go. I was getting ready to go back to work and potty training a toddler while adjusting to being home alone with the boys was not top on my husband's to do list. We still asked when he was in the bathroom about to get into the bathtub, but didn't expect much.

Of course, this last Saturday, the weekend before I started back to work, when JD was asked if he wanted to use the potty before taking a bath he said his signature "alright" and peed in the potty. The next morning he asked to use the potty when he woke-up and again later that morning. Seeing this as a sign. We pulled out the big boy underwear and settled in for the ride. At anytime you may hear "I have to go potty!" and drop EVERYTHING and run to the potty where you undress your toddler from the waist down. Sometimes we don't make it and have to change everything from the waste down, shoes included and sometimes, somehow the shirt gets wet too so that goes, increasing your laundry tenfold. For us, the first few days we had some accidents. But by Wednesday we were down to using only one or two pairs a day. Now it is Friday and he has been using it successfully all week!

So words of advice and encouragement to all the mom's out there..... they will pee everywhere! JD insists on standing to use the potty so there is pee all around his potty and he also insists on dumping his pee into the big potty so you can imagine the mess there. To help with the mess I have been laying a towel on the floor, which I change daily and also clean the floor and potties nightly to keep it sanitary. Though it has been messy, JD is totally excited and I cannot be prouder than I am when he is successful and happy. Today, I asked my mother when it, the dirty bathroom mess, will get better, she laughed and said "Never, you have a house full of boys!" and I believe her since I have two brothers of my own.

So now in my house the magical time of no diapers is in the horizon followed by the time of endless bathroom cleaning, something I think is in no mother dreams. However, I can't help but celebrate the fact that we have reached another childhood milestone on the road to growing up and though I can't say I'm sad to see the diapers go, it is great to see JD growing up.

Fix it and forget it meals

The last thing on my mind when I get home from work is making a healthy balanced dinner for myself and my family but that is crucial to creating healthy eating habits for my children and lunches for myself and my husband so here is how I get around it.

I hardly ever make anything from "scratch" who has the time for that. Let someone else do the dirty work and spend your time making it yours. My crock pot is my best friend. It can cook whole chickens, pot roasts, & pork with all the trimming, soups, stews and even lasagna. Just prep in the evening and store in the fridge. In the morning put it on low and go. You can even prep ahead and freeze whole meals ready to put into your slow cooker. Meat for soups and stews can be pre-cooked and frozen ahead of time. Vegetables can be pre-cooked and frozen in small batches. A tomato sauce from a jar tastes OK. but throw in some fresh garlic and herbs to jazz it up and you have a great base. I put in jars of diced tomatoes and leftover vegetables to bump the nutritional value and make it more complex and freeze that too so it can be ready in a flash.

 I use a ton of tastefully simple meal ideas for my prep ahead meals. For instance. Their perfectly potato soup makes a great pot pie filling. Just add leftover cooked chicken and a bag of frozen mixed vegetable. Dump that into a pie filling. It makes one large or make 7 small individual pot pies and freeze for individual use.

However, my go to is prepare and freeze ahead in bulk.  Everyone has their staple go to meals. I tend to lean towards Italian dishes with lots of pasta and meat dishes with some type of sauce and with all the great garden produce coming in this year it is hard not to take advantage of my time and freezer space and prepare for the busy work nights to come. One night a week I put the boys to bed and cook/bake. This week is eggplant parm and eggplant lasagna. I oven fry the eggplant and then make trays of each until the eggplant is gone filling my freezer with healthy meals for the winter months to come. Zucchini becomes breads and muffins. Peppers for sausage and peppers. Tomatoes become fresh sauce. This creates a great taste of summer in fall and winter.

All these things I have mentioned and many, many more can be made in bulk and frozen to be used at a later date. Making those hectic weeks and days still ending at home around the table for a healthy meal instead of in the drive-thru.

What to wear after baby?

With the first day of school and my first day back to work looming over me I needed to take a serious look at my non-mommy wardrobe. Unfortunately, the gym wear that has been passing as my daily uniform will not suffice for being the teacher of 100 high school students and try as I might to squeeze into my size 10 work attire, it is a total failure. So what to do in this situation? I have found that sucking it up and buying a few pairs of pants in my current post baby size along with some of my early maternity wear will make up the bulk of my back to work wardrobe works. Couple that with a few new pairs of spanks high waisted underwear and some empire waisted dresses and tops that allow for easy pumping and I'm good to go. I don't love my body. But I know from experience I'll start to see it again in its new and better form in a year or two. Until then, learn to love the body you have and/or find ways to make it better.

Returning to Work

One of the hardest things I had to do when my maternity leave was over was leave JD and go back to work. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom but it just made more sense with our jobs and schedules for my husband to. I was angry, scared, sad and resentful. I was the one up all night nursing him. I had to pump at work to provide him food. I was the one missing out on all his firsts. It was awful. I was so angry at everyone and everything when I returned that I made myself and everyone else miserable.

So how do you make the transition easier? For me what worked was frequent phone calls home to see and hear how everything was going. Paired with a pocket digital picture frame loaded with recent baby pictures and JD's sleeper. When I got home he'd smile and reach for me and we'd be inseparable until the morning.

For mom's who have to put their children in daycare say it helps to tour the facility and to drop in whenever they can. If they are close enough they come to nurse or give a bottle during their lunch. As the year progressed I was able to adjust with my separation from JD creating special time with the two of us in the late afternoon and evenings. A walk when I got home from work, bath time and we'd watch a baby Einstein movie together snuggling before bed. These quality moments made it much easier to leave in the morning. Now with the approaching deadline of my second maternity leave ending in two weeks I know that they are well cared for and loved when I am not at home and that it is not the amount of time you spend with your children, it is what you choose to do in the time you have with them.